Titans on Film
by rozen-eynes
Summary: Armed with their trusty video camera, the Titans make their own versions of their fave films
1. Lord of the Rings

****

The Titans on Film!!!

Armed with their trusty video camera, the Titans make their own versions of their favourite films!!!

1. The Lord of the Rings. - The Fellowship of the Ring.

****

Scene 1.

__

Robin is sat up a tree reading a newspaper. (This is only a cover for his playboy magazine!) BB in the form of a racoon climbs the tree. He throws an apple at Robin's head.

Robin. "Ouch!"

__

Sees Beast Boy.

Robin. "Why you little….!"

__

Robin jumps at him, but falls out the tree. Staggering back to his feet he attempts to chase BB across the road, but trips over his foam hobbit feet just as Raven drives past in the T car.

Robin. "Argghhh!" _Gets mangled under the wheels._

Cyborg. "Robin, get your butt off my car!" _Runs over to it_. "Oh baby, did the big bad spiky headed, womanising, Slade wannabe hurt you?" _Gets out cloth and starts cleaning it. _"It's okay, daddy with fix you."

__

Other Titans back off slowly. Robin crawls slowly out from under the car.

Robin. "Your late." _Falls over._

Raven. _Folds arms. _"Does this face look bothered?"

Cyborg. "Raven stick to the script! Hey, why aren't you in costume? WARDROBE!"

__

Starfire appears. She glues a hat and a beard to Raven, then hands her a big stick.

  
  
Raven. "Thanks." _Hits Star on the head._

Robin. "I think I need medical attention."

__

BB looks at Cyborg whose blowing kisses to his car.

Beast Boy. "You're not the only one."

****

Scene 2.

__

Robin and Raven walking through forest. Raven still trying to get her beard off.

Robin. "So let me get this straight. This little thing can make you invisible." _Holds up the Ring._

Raven. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." _Pulls at beard._

Robin. _Evil grin as he puts on._

Raven. "Robin, where have you gone?"

Robin. "Cool I'm invisible!" _Moons the others._

Beast Boy. "Dude I think I'm going to be sick!"

Cyborg. "Put it away!!!"

Starfire. "I've gone blind!!"

Robin. "You can see me?!!"

Raven. "What? We couldn't afford the _REAL _one Ring."

__

Scene 3.

__

Titans standing outside the Prancing Pony.

Cyborg. "Honestly mister, we're all over 18!"

Barkeeper. "Yeah right. The only one of you who looks old enough is him!" _Points at Raven._

Raven. "Beer. Yay!!" _She runs inside. The door slams on the others. From the window they see Raven drowning three pints._

Raven. "Maybe this beard isn't so bad after all!"

****

Scene 4.

__

Robin is surrounded by the Ringwraith.

Robin. "Hey, these guys are the real deal!"

BB. "Yeah they work for peanuts." _To prove his point, BB throws Peanuts at the ground. Instantly the Ringwraith leave Robin and start eating the peanuts._

Cyborg. "Never fear hobbit. Aragorn is here to help." _ Sees the Ringwraith have all gone._

Cyborg. "Job done."

Robin. "Oh…I …have...been…stabbed" _Falls down._

Starfire. "Oh poor Frodo, what can I, Arwen do to ease the pain?"

Robin. "Emmm…..make out with me?"

Starfire. "okay!" _They make out._

Cyborg. "Hey! Arwen's Argorn's girl! The only reason I took this part was to get some action!"

Robin. "I working it here!"

__

Cyborg picks up Ringwraiths sword and stabs him with it.

Robin. "AHHHHH THE PAIN!"

Starfire. "Cyborg, how could you?!"

Cyborg. "It's okay Star. It's all in the script."

Starfire. "OK. What else does the script say?"

Cyborg. _Gets a nose bleed. _"That Argorn and Arwen go off for a long weekend in Paris."

Robin. "NO!"

Starfire. "Sorry, but if it's in the script." _Leaps into Cyborg's arms. _"Lets go big boy!"

****

Scene 5.

__

Robin, Raven, Cyborg, Speedy, Gizmo, and Aqualad sit round in a circle with Mad Mod facing them.

Mad Mod. "Okay Duckies. How do we get rid of this oh so tacky ring!"

Gizmo. "Why am I even here?"

Cyborg. "Cause I threaten to tell jinx how those pictures of her got on the internet."

Robin. "And you're the only one short enough to play Gimli."

Gizmo. "Hey!"

Aqualad. "Maybe we could use the power as our own."

Everyone. "Boo. Hiss" _Throws paper balls at him._

Raven. "Robin. It's your line. Robin?"

__

Robins asleep. Raven hits him over the head.

Robin. "What? ….oh yeah…I'll do it. Whatever."

Mad Mod. "You will take this Ring and cast it back to where it was created?"

Robin. "Yes."

Mad Mod. "You will brave terrible evils and certain death?"

Robin. "…yes…"

Mad Mod. "Without coming into contact with no woman what so ever until this task is complete?"

Robin. " Yes…wait a minute. No I don't."

Mad Mod. "Too late!"

Cyborg. "Here. You can have my sword." _Places sword in his hands._

Speedy. "And my bow." _Gives him bow._

Gizmo. "And my axe." _Gives him axe._

Aqualad. "And my sword." _Gives him sword._

Raven. "Well then Frodo off you go." _Shoves him down the steps._

Robin. "Arggghhhh!"

__

Beast Boy looks over the edge. "Dudes. He's not getting up for a while."

****

Scene 6.

__

In the mines of Moria.

BB. "Hello Frodo. My name is Smegol." _Coughs. _"Gollum."

Robin. "That's a bad cough. Want a cough sweet?"

BB. "Eh..no. I much rather hold my precious…eh. I mean you ring."

Robin. "You what?"

BB. "I just want to touch your ring."

Robin. "Pervert!" _knocks him down the well. The noise wakes up the goblins._

Cyborg. "Everyone. Prepare to fight."

__

All eyes turn to the door where the noise is coming from. After awhile nothing happens. Raven pulls open the door to reveal, Starfire hitting a few pots and pans.

Robin. "Let me guess. Not enough money"

Cyborg. "To hire an entire Orc army? You got to be kidding."

Beast Boy. "A little help here guys…guys?"

****

Scene 7.

__

Raven stands on a bridge as the Balrog approaches.

Raven. "You shall not….Daddy?"

Trigon. "Hi honey. How's my number one girl?"

Raven. "What are your doing here?"

Trigon. "I've come to teach you and your friends ballet." _Holds up pink tutu's_

Raven. "NOOOOOOOOO!!" _leaps over the edge._

Trigon. "Honey. Wait for Daddy!" _Follows her._

__

Cyborg stands on Robins foot.

Robin. "What? Oh…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! …are we done yet?"

Beast Boy. "Just one more scene."

****

Scene 8.

  
  
_Aqualad and Robin alone in the forest_.

Aqualad. "Go on let me have a look at your ring."

Robin. "Okay here."

Aqualad. _Puts it on_. "Is that all it does?"

Robin. "Yup."

Aqualad. "Kind of lame."

Robin. "I know."

Aqualad. "So…want to blow the horn of Gondor?"

Robin. "No. I don't."

__

Arrow hits Aqualad in the heart.

Speedy. "I got him."

Robin. "He's not dead yet!"

__

Everyone fires arrows at Aqualad till he falls over.

Beast Boy. "Is that the end?"

__

Raven checks Aqualad's breathing.

Raven. "Borormirs dead. It's the end."

Robin. "Who wants Pizza?"

****

THE END.

Slade. "Okay. Where was I in that fiction?"

DIT. "Slade, you are so over. Brother Bloods the new villain now!"

BrotherB. "In your face Slade."

Slade. "But.."

DIT. "Goodbye!" _flicks him away._


	2. Pirates Passion

****

I'm Back!!!!

2. Pirates of the Caribbean. Curse of the Black Pearl.

Scene 1.

__

Starfire and Aqualad standing on a ship.

Aqualad. "look I know Robin doesn't treat you good. Come away with me baby, I'll show you a good time." _Winks at her._

Robin. "Hi. Stick the script!" _Waves a bow and arrow at him._

Aqualad. _Gulp. _"See Elizabeth absolutely nothing to be afraid. No pirates etc…"

Starfire. "Then what's that?"

__

Raven rows past on her sinking ship still wearing the Gandalf beard expect now it has been dyed black. Behind her is a wreckage.

Raven. "I didn't do it." _Rows away very quickly._

Aqualad. "What could have possibly done something so evil?"

__

A giant green octopus emerges.

Cyborg. "BB! There are no giant octopuses in the Pirates of the Caribbean!"

__

Octopus BB flicks Cyborg away. 

BB. "There is now." _Laughs evilly._

****

Scene 2.

__

As Aqualad poses marriage to Starfire. Starfire faints and falls off the cliff into the water below.

Starfire. "Haven't I done this before?" _Shrugs and continues to fall. Raven watches her fall. She glares at Cyborg._

Raven. "What I'm not going in there! I just finishing painting my nails!"

__

Robin groans loudly.

Cyborg. "God dam it Raven!!" _Robin leaves. _ "So what colour did you chose?"

Raven. "Sparkly Pink."

Cyborg. "Oooh Do me !!!!!" _Holds up hands._

Take 2

__

Raven dives into the water and rescues Starfire. She rips her corset off. Starfire then tries to undress Raven.

Raven. "STAR WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Starfire. "But that's what it says to do in the script!" _Holds up script. Raven flicks through it._

Raven. "Sparrow saves Elizabeth. They undress and make out!" _glares at Robin._

Robin. "No really that's what happens in the film." _stiffly eyes._

Raven. "Robin."

Robin. "What?"

Raven. "RUN!" _ Goes red-eyed evil Raven!_

Robin runs off screaming for his mummy.

****

Scene 3.

__

Robin and Raven fight in the barn.

Robin. "You're going to pay for what you did to Elizabeth."

Raven. "You're not one of_ those _with no bits below are you?"

Robin. "Yes but that's besides the point!"_ Moves in front of the exit._

Raven. "Now your in my way. Please move!"

Robin. "And let you escape! I don't think so!

Raven. "I didn't want to have to do this. But you've given me no option." _Puts on lipstick and a blonde wig. Talks like Kitten._

Raven. "HI Robbie-poo!"

Robin. "No…NO..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

__

Runs off.

BB. "Hey Rae! You kind of look like Terra." _Hearts form in his eyes._

Raven. "Beast Boy I don't like the way your looking at me!"

__

Beast Boy tries to grab her.

Raven. "ARGGGGHHHHH!" _Runs off._

Beast Boy. "Wait for me my darling!" _skips after her_.

****

Scene 4

__

Starfire has been kidnapped by the black pearl.

Cyborg. "Elizabeth, there are no need for manners…."

Starfire. "Okay." _Head falls straight into plate._

Cyborg. "Eh …O.K" _starts to back off. _ "Maybe there are needs for manners."

__

Starfire lifts her head, covered in bits of food. "What? You say something?"

Cyborg. "Right get out my cabin." _Pushes her outside. Then closes the door. _ "Any minute now she'll be screaming her head off when she sees my evil crew in the moonlight." _Laughs wickedly._

From outside there are only the sounds of Starfire squealing in delight.

Cyborg. "What the…!" _Opens doors to see Starfire, Robin, BB and Raven jumping up and down in one of the sails._

Cyborg. "Starfire you're suppose to be scared!"

BB. "Dude who could be scared of that!" _he points to cardboard cut outs of skeletons._

Cyborg. "But I made them myself!"

__

BB turns a fan on and they all blow away.

Cyborg. "NOOOOOOOO! They're my only friends! They're the only people who understand me!" _Falls on the floor and starts sucking his thumb._

Robin. "And I thought Raven was weird cause she talked to people in books!"

__

Raven glares at Beast Boy. "You said you wouldn't tell. You promised!"

Beast Boy. "Now you even starting to sound like Terra!"

****

Scene 5.

__

Robin rescues Starfire but end up being chased by the black pearl.

Starfire. "We're not going to make it!"

Robin. "I know. I just wish there was someway I could express my feelings to you….hmmm I suppose I could kiss you…and _stuff_."

Starfire. "Oh no I'm not falling for that one again."

Robin. "What? What are you talking about!"

Starfire. "Every time we do _stuff _you never call me afterwards! Robin I want more in this relationship. We never talk!"

Robin. "Star we're about to be attacked by Pirates and you want to _talk_!"

__

The Black Pearl appears besides them.

Raven. "Will Turner you need to communicate more in your relationship. Elizabeth is clearly crying out for attention."

Cyborg. "Don't be afraid of your feelings Turner. Do you need a hug?" _Opens his arms moves towards Robin._

Robin. "Argghhhhh!" _Jumps overboard._

From no where another giant green octopus appears and attacks the two ships.

Cyborg. "BB for the last time there are no sea monsters in this movie!"

BB. "I know. I just wanted to be more involved."

Raven. "Oh just let him. He spent hours practising this scene in the bathtub."

BB. "That's right." _Eyes widen. _"How do you know what I do in the bathtub."

****

Scene 6.

A rope is around Raven's neck.

Starfire. "This is wrong." Turns to Aqualad. "Isn't there something you can do?"

Aqualad. "Sparrow is a criminal I am bound to the law."

Raven. "Whatever." _Floats up and takes the noose off, tosses it around Aqualads neck, hangs him. _**"**Oops" (In case you haven't guess yet I don't like Aqualad!)

Starfire. "I do not recall this ending.

BB. "Dude you can't remember pass Johnny Depp!"

Starfire. "Hmmm Johnny."

Robin. "So that's it we done now?"

Cyborg. "Actually we are. But you and Star are going to couples counselling."

Robin. "I'm what!"

__

Cyborg picks up Robin locks him in the T car. "Star he's all yours!"

Robin. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

__

Car drives off into the distance.

****

The End.

3. The Passion of Christ.

Scene 1

__

Robin is being nailed to a big cross.

Robin. "So guys when do we begin filming?"

Cyborg. "Filming?"

Starfire. "This is punishment for spying of me, Raven and Beast Boy in the shower!"

Robin. "But Raven paid me to film BB!" _Raven places tape across his mouth._

Raven. "Lies. All LIES!!"

Cyborg. "See you later!"

__

Titans start to walk away.

Robin. "C'mon you can't just leave me out here!"

Starfire. "Sure we can!"

Robin. _sighs. _"If I were still Slade's apprentice this wouldn't be happening."

Raven. "Speaking of which." _Holds up a piece of rope. _ "Lets go find Terra."

****

The End

__


	3. Ring

Now time for my Favourite horror film - The Ring!!

4. The Ring.

(Based on the American version rather then the Japanese! Furthermore I recommend everybody who hasn't read the novel, does so immediately! There's a twist at the end that the film makers chose to leave out! lol)

Scene 1.

__

Jinx, Mammoth and Gizmo are all sat on Jinx's bed with curlers in their hair, painting each others nails.

Jinx. "…and then Tiffany said that Brittany said that Candy said that Ashley said that Sandy said that…" _throws Mammoth an angry glare. Pulls headphones out. _"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!!"

Mammoth. "No way Girl Talk is like soooooooooo boring! Be careful not to mess up my nails!"

Jinx. "Okay then. But I guess you don't need me to look after you anymore!"

Mammoth. "But how will I dress myself in the morning without you!"

Gizmo. "Dude, you can't even dress yourself!" _Laughs._

A foul smell appears.

Jinx. _Picks up Gizmo. _"Time for a nappy change!"

Cyborg. "Okay CUT! There is no way anyone will believe that Gizmo still wears a nappy!" _A used nappy hits him in the face. _"That's it!" _Holds up BB's Mighty Morphing Power Rangers underwear._

Jinx, Gizmo, Mammoth. "NO Anything but that! We'll stick to the script!"

Cyborg. "That's more like it!"

BB. "Dude, that's where my underwear is." _puts_ _it. _"Okay it's Morphing Time!" _Runs off._

Cyborg. "I'm starting to worry about that one!"

****

Scene 1. Take 2.

Mammoth. "Okay, so like a week ago I watched this tape and now I'm going to die!"

Jinx. "Blab blab! It's all about you, isn't it!" _On the computer. _"Hey how did these pictures of me get on the internet!" _eyes widen. _"Where… are …my …clothes!"

Gizmo. "Eh…Gotta go!" _Runs off._

Jinx. "Get back here you little worm!" _Chases him out the room._

Mammoth. "Oh" _Hides under blankets._

T.V switches on. Terra with a black wig on appears climbing out the well.

Mammoth. "Dam." 

Water pours out the T.V. As Terra starts to climb out of the T.V she slips on the water and breaks her neck.

Mammoth. "Whoa. That was lucky."

Cyborg. "Who left the water running?" _Raven walks passed him whistling._

****

Scene 2.

Starfire. "Greeting everyone! I am Rachael, a workaholic reporter and single mother of an extremely creeper child, …seeking single male aged between…"

Robin. "Hey!"

Starfire. "Quiet son. Your sexy mother's busy trying to get you a new daddy! Now off to school!"

Robin. "What I am? Ten? Don't you think it would be irresponsible of you to let your young son out on his own in a city full of weirdo's and paedophiles!"

__

Slade knocks on the window.

Robin. "No him again!" _Jumps behind Starfire. _"That guy is totally stalking me!"

Starfire. "Yeah okay whatever, I've got work to do. Bye" _Picks up Robin and throws him out the door._

Slade. "Hello."

Robin. "ARGHHHHH!" _Runs off._

****

Scene 3.

Starfire. "As a nosy sister I am investigating the death of my young nephew. Tell me sister off your troubles!"

Blackfire. _reading newspaper. _ "I'm sorry what?"

Starfire. "Never mind. I shall now go to the cabin where the teenagers watched the video!" _Fly's off._ _Blackfire continues reading the paper. Behind her, Robin runs across the set closely followed by Slade._

In the Cabin.

Starfire. _Watches the video. _"OH MY GOD! THAT IS THE WORSE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!"

Raven. "C'mon Star. I don't think it could be that bad."

Starfire. "Put it this way I'm not wearing clean underwear anymore!"

Raven. "Okay." _Steps away from Starfire. Watches the film. She says nothing, only nails her eyes shut._

Phone rings.

Starfire. "…Hello…"

Terra. "Yeah Hi is that Domino's Pizza?"

Starfire. "Eh…no."

Terra. "Oh man! I'm so hungry! Could you ask Raven how much longer I have to live in this well?"

__

Raven grabs the phone.

Raven. "What's the date today?"

Terra. "It's a Friday."

Raven. "Well then in that case how about …the 12th of NEVER!" _Slams phone down and laughs evilly. Looks at Star. _"Oh em yeah…you've got Seven days to live!"

Starfire. "Well I'd better live like I've never lived before!" _Grabs a bottle of Vodka and drinks it all._

Raven. "OR…you could find a way to stop the curse?"

Starfire. "Okay that works too!"

****

Scene 4.

Starfire. "Hello Boyfriend of whom I slept with once ten years ago and is the father of my son but has never ever noticed that I have had a child…"

Beast Boy. "Em..yeah well I've been meaning to call." _Stiffly eyes._

Starfire. "Watch this copy of a curse tape that kills you in one week unless I can find a loop hole."

__

Afterwards.

Beast Boy. _Tying a noose around his neck._

Starfire. "Wait what about your son?"

Beast Boy. "Oh Yeah…him. Eh…Where is he?"

Starfire. "I left him with a babysitter who wore a funny black and orange mask so that I couldn't see his face!"

__

Cut to Robin.

Robin. _Hiding under his bed._ "Starfire, I hate you!"

Slade. "Come out, Come out where ever you are!"

__

Cut back to Beast Boy and Starfire.

Starfire. "So what are we going to do about this tape?"

BB. "Burn it!"

Starfire. "Hey I think we should go investigate that lighthouse that appears on the screen."

BB. "Why?"

Starfire. "Cause someone's graffiti on it - 'Samara woz ere' !"

BB. "Oh yeah. And someone else has written - 'BBRAE4va. DEATH TO TERRA'!"

__

Raven walks pasted with a can of spray paint whistling.

****

Scene 5.

Starfire. "How was he?"

Slade. "Better then I thought." _Winks at Robin rocking slowly in the corner of the room._

Starfire. "Here's some money."

Slade. "Ooh Money!" _Cartwheels out of the window._

Starfire. "Now I'm going to bed, but not before I leave the copy of the tape where my son could reach it." _Puts tape on table then leaves room._

Robin. "The horror…the horror…."

Cyborg. "Hey Dick! Watch the tape!"

Robin. "No thank you! I've seen enough horror to last me a life time!"

__

Phone Rings.

Robin. "What do you want?"

Terra. "Seven days until you die!"

Robin. "You can't do! I haven't even watched the tape!"

Terra. "Want to bet. It's now six days!"

Robin. "Hey!"

Terra. "4 days,"

Robin. "I know what this is about! You're just upset cause Slade wanted me as his apprentice and you were his second choice!"

Terra. "That's it!"

__

T.V turns on. Terra starts to climb out. Suddenly the T.V turns black and is thrown out of a ten story building."

Robin. "Well that was lucky!"

Raven. Whistles.

****

Scene 6.

Starfire. "Well we saved the day by letting an evil spirit free…oh no…I've got to warn my boyfriend!"

Robin. "But I am minor. You can't leave me alone!"

__

Door bell rings.

Slade. "In need of a babysitter?"

Starfire. "Here's five bucks you can keep him!"

Slade. "Yay!"

Robin. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _runs off._

Slade. "Wait for me!"_ Skips after him._

Meanwhile…

BB. "Cool Cartoons!" _Samara appears on screen. _"Hey bitch bring back the power rangers!" _Throws bowl of cereal into the T.V._

Terra. "Ouch!" _Falls over._

BB. "Oh yeah direct hit! Go Beast Boy! No one dumps me and gets away with it!"

__

Terra gets up and starts to climb out the T.V. When she is half way out she stops. The T.V is levitating in the air.

Terra. "Oh Shit!" _Falls out and breaks her neck on the floor. Blood pours out from her._

BB. "Okay…That was lucky!" _Shrugs._ "Hey Raven when you get here?"

Raven. "Just now…oh my God what a terrible accident has happen to Terra…oh well life's a bitch. BB, lets go."_ Takes him by the arm and drags him off._

****

THE END.

Cyborg. "Wow! This film was great…but how did you guys make a tape that is really scary?"

Starfire. "Would you like to watch the tape?"

Robin. "No Star don't give him the tape!" _Too late. Cyborg watches the tape._

BB. "Is it over." _Huddled behind Raven._

Raven. "I don't know. I'm not watching it for a second time!"

__

Meanwhile Cyborg' s mouth has dropped open.

Cyborg. "I can't believe you guys!"

BB. "Well…em …you did say we had to film the most horrifying thing possible."

Cyborg. "But me…and my baby?"

Raven. "I'd rather not have flashbacks of you making out with your car. Thank you." _The tape turns black and is destroyed._

BB. _Muttering. _"He does a little bit more then making out!"

Robin. "Lets all go out for pizza!"

__

Phone rings.

Raven. "You guys go on ahead I'll get it."

__

Other Titans leave. Raven picks up the phone.

Terra. "Oh thank God you guys finally answered. Look some weirdo tossed my body down a well cause they thought I was dead and sealed me in, and I've only got seven days to live and I'm almost out of credit!"

Raven. "I sorry the number you have dialled doesn't give a crap." _Puts phone down. Laughs evilly. Skips out the room._

Terra. "Hello…Hello?" _Throws mobile down. _"Dam."

****

THE END.


	4. Phantom

****

5. The Phantom of the Opera.

****

Scene 1. Take 1

__

Enter Raven pushing an elderly Mad Mod into the theatre ruins.

Mad Mod. "I don't like it here. I want to go to the park. I want to feed the duckies!" _Hits Raven with stick._

Raven. _Rolls eyes_. "Remind me again how he agreed to do this?"

Robin. "He didn't. We just stole his hearing aids."

Mad Mod. "Hello?…..Hello?" _Hits Raven again._

Raven. "Great."

Cyborg. "Okay, how much for this green lamp?"

Raven. _Points to Mad Mod_. "I think he wants it."

Cyborg. "Anyone else? No? Okay sold to-"

Robin. "-I'll give you my whole titan girl shower videos, including all local hotties such as Blackfire and Jinx!"

Cyborg. _Eyes widen. _"SOLD!"

__

Raven and Starfire look at each other. Shake their heads then walk off. Green lamp turns into a giant green T.V.

BB. "Play the tapes!"

Boys gather around television.

Mad Mod. "Hello? I want to see the duckies!…..hello?"

****

Scene 2

__

BB and Raven stand on a stage.

BB. "Dude we're buying this supposedly haunted theatre….. Cyborg you have to be on stage!"

__

Cyborg voice over. "I am NOT coming out."

Raven. "It can't be that bad."

__

Cyborg enters the stage dressed in a pink frilly dress and large white wig.

Cyborg. "Why do I have to be Carlotta?"

Raven. "Because no way in hell am I putting that dress on!"

__

BB is on the floor in a fit of giggles. Pauses. "I think I have to go to the bathroom." _Runs off._

__

Raven rolls her eyes. "Lets get this scene over with." _Makes something heavy fall on Cyborg._

Cyborg. "That's it I'm leaving."

Raven. "oh….no. We have lost the leading lady. What ever shall we do now?"

__

Robin leaps on stage. "I know lets ask the sexy understudy to take over!" _winks at Starfire and puts his arm around her._ "How you do?"

Starfire. "Yay!" _Jumps into centre of the stage and starts singing. All the windows break. BB runs out of the bathroom._

BB. "Dude, someone made all the toilets exploded. AND I HAVE TO GO!"

__

Organ music.

Starfire. "Oh no. It is the evil Phantom of the Opera, of whom is my beloved teacher and is also crushing on me."

__

Phantom swings down to the stage, grabs his target then swings back to the ratters.

Cyborg. "Eh…Slade. Wrong Titan."

__

Robin over Slade shoulder. "Yeah, you're suppose to kidnap Starfire!"

Starfire. "We did not rescue from the dead so that you could make off with Robin again!"

Slade. "You know I prefer little boys."

BB. "Wasn't Terra your apprentice."

Slade. "You really didn't know Terra that well did you?"

__

BB faints.

Starfire. "Let Robin go or else!"

Slade. "Or else what?"

__

Starfire sings.

Slade. "Ah I'm deaf!"

****

Scene 2 take 2

__

Lights off. Lights On. Robin gone again.

Cyborg. "Cut. Wrong Titan again!"

Slade. "Sorry I have a one track mind."

__

260 takes later.

Raven. "I know how to solve this problem." _Dress Robin in dress. _"Now you're the girl!"

Robin. "Oh joy."

Cyborg. "Cheer up Rob! Dresses make me feel pretty." _Twirls._

Scene 3

__

Slade and Robin in underground lair.

Slade. "And now that I finally have you, I can make you my apprentice!"

__

Other Titans appear.

Robin, "Hi guys."

Slade. "What the f! How did you find my lair so quickly?" _Glares at Cyborg_. "And why are you still wearing a dress?"

All turn to Cyborg.

Cyborg. "Dresses make me feel pretty." _Spins._

Robin. "Okay…Anyway Slade there is nothing that you can say or do to make me join you!"

Slade. "Oh really?"

__

Cue Star Wars theme.

Slade. "Even if I told you I was your father!"

BB. "Hey that's not in the script!"

Raven. "You haven't read the latest type, have you?"

Slade. "Back to the point, if you please."

Robin. "Been done! Someone stop that music!"

__

Music ends.

Robin. "Thank you."

Slade. "Then there is nothing I can give you."

Robin. "Nope….well expect maybe a new play station."

Slade._ Thinks_. "What if I give you stuff then you will work for me."

BB. "Duh."

Cyborg. "Yeah, we teenagers remember. We're shallow."

Slade. "Hmmmmmm"

__

5 seconds later. Cyborg, BB, and Robin are all destroying the town.

Slade. "Well ladies what about you."

Raven. "There is nothing you can give us to make us work for you."

Slade. "Not even for a …." _Holds up a bunny._

Starfire. "Bunny!"

Another 5 seconds later, Starfire and 'Fluffy' are destroying the town as well.

Raven. "You guys are so easy!" _Glares at Slade. _"Nothing at all!"

Slade. "Well then I'll just have to let Beast Boy look at your diary!"

Raven. "NO! But then he'll learn that my favourite colour is pink and I secretly I fancy him!"

__

A further 5 seconds later and Raven is also destroying the town.

Slade. "I should have thought about this sooner!"

----------------------------------------------------

__

Cut back to ruin theatre.

Mad Mod. "Hello? Hello? Where has everyone gone? I haven't feed the duckies!"

****

The End


End file.
